What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

weston cage

How does shit taste?\ Good.

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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