two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Want to hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops