What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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Cameron is a r e t a r d

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A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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