Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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PEANIS!

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops