How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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kieran scott has a huge back

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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chuck norris

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Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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