Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

EGGPLANT

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops