How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. He is not served any alcohol because he is not yet 21.

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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John Stamos.

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You suck big fat slobber

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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