Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

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Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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