Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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If you were a cactus, why?

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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raisin boogers

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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