Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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If you were a cactus, why?

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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