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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

Samraj.

what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

anti jokes are for fags

Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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