Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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