One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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How much fun does a gay guy have? A butt load.

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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