My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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your social life.

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Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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why was the black kid so good at basketball because he practiced a lot

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the fridge cross the road? Because Sally has no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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