What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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raisin boogers

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

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what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

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What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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