whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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dick dick dick... frogs

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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Breast cancer.

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What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

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How long is a china man?

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What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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Justin Bieber

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#Hanging Degus

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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