What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

thumb_up thumb_down +32

whats yellow? lots of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops