A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What can fly? Lots of things

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops