What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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lipstick pig

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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Poop

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops