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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

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you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops