You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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That's what she didn't say

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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