xavier stop

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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Hahaha

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A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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