Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A cow walks into a bar and said, "Bartender give me a glass of milk!"

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Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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What do you call a black cop? Officer.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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