What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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kcuf read it backwards

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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<=3 penis

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Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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hey, my names mark.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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nina...;shut up we are having fun :)

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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