What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops