Whats wrong with that Nothing

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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nickel back

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Gangnam style

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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Q: What's funnier than Women's Rights? A: Nothing.

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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you

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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