I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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Three black men were walking...

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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4 strangers are shopping at the mall. The big one does a trick and then the small one was good. The bad was small like a tree, seven days later the short one was having a party with a pretty lady. To the teacher was morning and everyone did happy times.

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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...............................................................hi

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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