I woke up today

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gay people

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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A man... walks.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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And more;

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops