A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

No thank you, I don't like violence

If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

ded on boomer and aodddan

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

whats 69+2? 71

Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...