An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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