Obama

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

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Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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Charlotte Bobcats

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What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops