When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[gfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgfvyidvcyjvcoyjcvojfvojgfvfeovqogjvfvlbvojfbvohdfphvbvpyhkbvpykfhbvhpkbqvpjhrfvogj ciry cotbft vt cr crycbtiufgypimgo8ugfut5syr9 d0upi7nhm8iyn9u5tysxvrbtojyum;hhnpgt ud ryibnoyggftghjkjhcdfghjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh 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tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,co8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cg8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,chjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c3qugj],gjpcjr,c

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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You

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Yes.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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