Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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