Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

An epileptic man attends a rave.

What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

GONNA

What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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