What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops