Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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This is a joke setup.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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