Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

Please Rape William Wright

whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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