A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

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What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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