A black man in a country bar.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

why did the man die? he was shot

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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