What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

A seal walks into a club.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

Elizabeth Warren

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

What's green and has wheels? a green car.

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

He walked in a bar

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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