What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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