How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

You're welcome!

What is black, white, red and blue? ..... A cow dressed as superman.

My life :(

Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

Q: What's the difference between black and white? A: A lot...

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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