Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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He walked in a bar

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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