The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

thumb_up thumb_down

Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down

What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

thumb_up thumb_down

What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

LIFE :(

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops