Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

He walked in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's green and has wheels? a green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops