Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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What did the four pigs do at the farm? Roll in mud.

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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canada

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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I don't find blind jokes funny. Honestly, I just can't see the humor in them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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