Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats 69+2? 71

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

thumb_up thumb_down -12

ded on boomer and aodddan

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hi what I lug you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops