What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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a horse nibbled a baby

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops