If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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Whats the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby? People eat sandwhiches.

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What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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you and your family will die tonight

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops