Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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run farther?

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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How do you know if a black man was in your house while you weren't home? When you let them enter to babysit your children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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