Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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