What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

josh roberts got the d in geog

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wats rong with yo leg.....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops