Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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What did the black man say to the young white woman during sex? you are a wonderful woman

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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What did the four pigs do at the farm? Roll in mud.

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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