- Anti Joke

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

bryden is a faggot

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

What do you call a retarded black man? His name

Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!