When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Where's my baby??

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now"

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Darude- Sandstorm

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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That's what she didn't say

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falling didnt make the difference

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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The Christian Bible.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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School

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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