Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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What did one dinosaure say to the other? Nothin, they are all dead. XD

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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